What We Break, We Can Always Rebuild

I wasn’t sure if I should write this. It’s vulnerable, and a little uncomfortable, but it’s also honest — and I think that’s part of why I need to share it.

This kind of writing helps me process things, and it might help someone else process their pain too. And hopefully above all, anyone who reads this will think deeply about how much their actions affect those around them, and also understand how much grace and love and forgiveness God has in His heart to redeem any actions that hurt ourselves and others.

Recently, I went through something that left me pretty sad, angry, and honestly, a little humiliated and disgusted. I dated someone who wasn’t who he said he was — and when the truth surfaced I quickly became aware that this deception and trail of lies had affected far more people than just me.

Instead of sitting in bitterness, I'm doing my best to process it: through prayer, reflection, and truth-telling. So this isn’t a rant or a revenge post. It’s a letter — written to the man who caused harm, but also to every person who’s ever lost sight of how deeply our choices ripple into the lives of others.

A Letter To The Person Who Didn't Consider How Far His Actions Would Reach Once The Truth Came Out...

Dear "you",

I want to start by saying this isn’t written out of anger. It’s written out of truth — and i'd like to think it might help you regain some hope that you can redeem yourself by choosing Truth from now on moving forward.

When I first met you, I saw the good. The felt the spark that helped reignite in me the kind of attraction that turns into a beautiful love story over time. I saw someone who could be a light to many — a leader, even — in a world that desperately needs men with integrity and strength of character.

But somewhere between your words and your actions, something got lost. And I need you to know — the ripples of your actions are much bigger than you probably realize.

It wasn’t just me you hurt. In fact, I'm the lesat important in your web of lies, manipulation and betrayal.

It’s your wife. Your children. It’s all of the other women you’ve dated and the families connected to them. It’s the players you coached, who were looking up to you as an example of what a man should be — a teacher, a leader, a protector.

When you live dishonestly, you don’t just break hearts — you break trust. And that does more damage in my opinion, and the messiness and "ick" spreads fast.

We all want to believe that our private choices don’t affect the world around us. But they do. Every lie, every half-truth, every manipulative move plants a seed — and those seeds grow into cynicism, distrust, pain, and brokenness in people. Especially in those who were just trying to love.

I am furious wth you for dragging me into this, unknowingly and unwillingly. But I can and will forgive you, because i know the negative effects holding onto resentment and blame has on me and I refuse to let that poison my heart.

But here is another tihng I want you to know: I don’t believe you did this because you’re evil. I believe you did this because you’re hurting.

People who are whole don’t need to deceive.

People who are healed don’t need to juggle affection to feel powerful.

People who walk with God don’t need attention to feel loved.

So I pray you ask yourself — why did I do this?

I pray that you will really do some soul searching and try and understand you.

Because if you can be honest with yourself, if you can face the real root of the pain that drives you to lie, to manipulate, to seek validation from multiple people — then there’s hope moving forward versus brokenness.

And not just hope and healing for you — hope for everyone around you.Your personal healing will heal generations. Take into account your kids, your students, everyone around you who's watching you and ask yourself if your actions really, truly reflect the kind of things you want to be teaching the younger generations.

When a man truly repents, takes accountability, and allows God to rebuild him from the inside out, it doesn’t just change his story — it rewrites his family’s story. His kids grow up watching integrity. His community sees redemption in real time. His friends feel convicted and inspired.

And by repent it's not a "God, I am such a bad person. I'm sorry, I need your forgiveness" thing. Repentence is asking God to literally "change your mind", and transform in you what needs to change so it reflects in your right action(s).

You can be that man, and I promise you that that version of you is someone you, and everyone around you, will like and love a lot more.

Ask God what his purpose for you is. Don't be selfish, and get stuck in pride, and fixate on what is best for you and you alone.

And it won’t be easy. Healing never is. Pride will fight with you. Ego will kick and scream. The truth will sting — and it should. Because this kind of honesty costs something.

But when you finally stop running from yourself and start walking toward Truth. Toward God — that’s when a new version of your life begins. That’s when you become the kind of man who not only leads others, but leads them toward light, positivity, humility, Truth, and love.

We (all of the people you hurt) need you to do that. The world needs you to do that because the world needs more men like that — especially young men who are being raised with a lack of love in their lives, and men who’ve already grown up without healthy examples of love, leadership, or accountability.

So this isn’t about revenge or bitterness. This letter is to encourage you to take responsibility for your actions. It’s to encourage you to focus on the restoration of your relationships. It’s about choosing to let God break what’s false in you so He can rebuild what’s true.

I will forgive you. In fact, I'm already almost there. I’ll let go of you but i am bound and determined to do that without a hint of resentment and bitterness.

I pray that you find the same relationship with God so that you can firgive yourself too, and there will be healing in your family.

I for sure believe in the man you could be if you chose to face the pain instead of escaping it.

Because if there’s one thing I know — God’s grace is big enough for all of us. Even for the ones who’ve hurt others the most. And your healing — if you truly surrender to it — won’t just change you. It will ripple far and wide into the world.

Sincerely,

A woman who chooses forgiveness, and believes in redemption