When God Sends Red Flags and You Try to Paint Them Pink

Sometimes life hands you a story you didn’t ask for — but it turns out to be the exact one your soul needed to grow. This one’s about love, faith, a little heartbreak, and the courage to forgive when there's a part of you that would prefer getting nasty, getting revenge.

The Story

I met someone recently. Our connection had that spark that gave me butterflies. It was the kind of feeling that made me think, maybe this time, it’s different.

He introduced himself, and we connected right away — laughter, shared values (or so I thought), and that easy flow that made dating feel fun again. I was cautiously hopeful, maybe even a little giddy.

For the few weeks we were seeing each other, it was light and easy with just the right amount of depth — lots of texts, lots of hanging out, laughter and fun flirting.

But then something started to feel… off. Not in a dramatic way, just incongruent. Like when a song skips a beat and you can’t quite get back in rhythm.

I asked questions — direct ones. And he had answers — confident ones.And because I try to lead with faith and optimism (and maybe a little bit of “I want to believe the best in people”), I chose to trust what he said.

One night I prayed a lot over it and just gave it to God because I was so in my head about it. The very next day, a friend showed up at my door with a face that said, brace yourself.

Through the small-town grapevine, she’d heard that the man I’d been seeing wasn’t just seeing me. And, he was allegedly still married and most likely still living with his “ex.” And the more she shared the more I realized that he was definitely not being upfront about much of anything.

And it hurt. Because betrayal always does — even when it’s early, even when you barely know the person. It’s just a fact that disappointment stings!

The Lessons

But here’s what I’ve learned through a lot of heartbreak and healing: pain always brings a choice.We can harden or we can soften.We can close off, or we can let God work through it.

So I chose forgiveness. Not because what he did was okay — but because I don’t want to live with poison in my heart.

I reminded myself that God doesn’t always protect us from pain, but He will always use His love to protect us through pain. Sometimes the truth shows up as a whisper, and sometimes as a loud, uncomfortable wake-up call. And when I looked back, I realized God had been sending me little nudges all along — signs that something wasn’t right. And then it took the big loud whistler blowing news to get me to actally listen and follow God's direction.

I wanted to believe the story my heart and head were writing, not the one God was revealing.

And that’s where faith meets humility — when you finally admit, “Okay God, I hear You. I’ll stop trying to edit Your version.”

I spoke my truth to the guy. Calmly. With boundaries, but not bitterness. Then I chose to let it go.

Because forgiveness isn’t weakness. It’s choosing peace over resentment, trusting that God saw what I couldn’t, and believing that even in disappointment, He’s still working all things for good.

The Hope

Dating in your 40s isn’t easy. It takes courage to keep your heart open when you’ve been let down — but that’s exactly what faith is. It’s saying, I still believe love exists, because I know the One who created it.

And I believe that someday, the right person will come — not perfect, but honest, kind, and God-sent.

Until then, I’ll keep showing up with a soft heart, a little laughter, and a lot of trust that God is preparing something far better than anything I could have forced.

Because even when it hurts — He’s still good. Always.

Author Note:Real life. Real faith. Real lessons — with a little laughter and a lot of love in between. Thanks for reading another glimpse into my heart. If you’ve ever been through something like this, remember: